I'm feeling pretty ok with how this past week has gone, at least when it comes to art. I did a decent job sticking with my goals from last week's post. (Last time here.) I haven't missed a day of the 100 Days Project yet, and I stuck with my commitment to focus on fun in my painting, which legitimately took some of the pressure off.
I always start the week off with a bang, spending a good amount of time in the studio on Saturdays. Sundays get harder, because I get pretty down with the "Sunday sads"--the thing where you dread the upcoming work week and lose all motivation. My full time job is really discouraging me right now. It's always been a "feast or famine" type of work volume, but it's very famine right now and I hate being bored. We're an all remote company, so I've also been struggling to get responses to things. My coworkers just ignore my Slack texts and emails for hours & days on end, which is frustrating, and frankly quite rude. It's really discouraging to job search too. I've been rejected from every job so far, although I haven't been as consistent at applying as I should be. I did some networking this past week with an organization I like quite a bit, but I'm also not being overt that I'm looking, and I'm sure that's hurting my chances. I'm keeping it somewhat on the DL (as DL as it can be when complaining publicly on the internet, on my blog that's read by about 2 people ever) since my BIL also works for this company.
But anyway, back to the art, because at least that went a bit better this week! I reminded myself multiple times that I am painting for fun and my personal enjoyment, instead of for shows or sale, and it helped. I painted more this week, and actually wanted to do it. I still spent more time on my video game than art, but I had a few week nights where I played in the studio. It's been short sessions, but I hope consistency will mean progress.
I painted in sketchbooks quite a lot last week, between the 100 Days Project and my evening playtime, and I may be coming around on them. In the past I've professed my disdain for the practice, but I definitely felt less pressure last week when I was using my assorted sketchbooks. I do need a lot available at a time, since my painting style is pretty fast and not detailed. I go through a lot of paper very quickly.
I still struggle with going back to paintings because I never know how to finish them. I planned to ruin some paintings this week, and I did last night. And it's fine! While they were mostly flops, I did push myself to keep going because of it, and I actually found a neat tree effect with a fan brush that baffled me before.
So for the next week, I'd like to keep up this momentum. My husband is participating in the virtual Sundance Film Festival for the next few days, so I plan to spend that time in the studio. I will ruin some more paintings in the pursuit of artistic growth and it will be fine. I will keep focusing on the fun and exploration in my painting, and I will not lose my 2-week-strong daily painting streak.
